A Washed-Up Used-to-Be Teen Pop Idol

Bionic by Christina Aguilera

Album Review

by F. Fajaryanto Suhardi

Released on June 8, 2010, Bionic is the fourth studio-album of American pop-singer Christina Aguilera at the same time marks the first year of her second decade of pop-throne conquest. Recently it has become a big controversy in the internet and media when they began to diss, accussing Aguilera for ripping off Lady Gaga’s music and most notably – her freaky outerworld fashion style. Most laughing at her effort for doing an electronic album, even our socialite-pal Perez Hilton on his twitter blog mocking: “Very Gaga-ish!”. Yet after all this long dramatic quarrel, the payback price is clearly quite sore for miss Aguilera: FLOP SALES.

Bombed with critics, this album spent its first week of release in Billboard Hot 200 Albums at #3 with only 110,000 copies sold. This much distressing refers to the fact that Bionic’s first-week sales is not even a half of the first week sales of Aguilera’s first album back then in August 1999 of which sold more than 255,000, Stripped sales shipped more than 330,000 (October 2002), with Back to Basics holds her best first-week selling record with more than 346,000 copies sold (August 2006). And although spending its first week at #1’s in UK, it became the worst selling number one album in the country in the last eigth-year with only 24,000 copies sold. Ouch! Pity Aguilera. Chop-up chop-down rude reviews drive most people’s belief, in other words, converting them into Antichrist-ina religion. Nonetheless there is only one true question left: is the album that bad?

For much fair assessment, let’s talk about it track-by-track. Since Stripped, Aguilera always put a short – not-more-than-two-minute opening theme for each album she released afterwards. While Stripped convinced, “no hype, no glass, no pretense, just me, stripped”, Back to Basics urged, “we’re goin’ back to basics to where it all began”, but Bionic is an exception: a full-opening appetizer. The 3:23 “Bionic” gives the clear perspective of new music direction Aguilera embracing now by how ambitiously she wants some ‘electronic supersonic rocket’. The tune not as nice as “Back to Basics-Intro” though, but it’s hot. “Not Myself Tonight” is one of the strongest elements of the album. Funny, the song is not that well when heard on the airplay but bizarrely makes sense when assimilating with the rest of the songs. But still the screeching part on its bridge-part is rather annoying. Chance of another Grammy for the diva: quite skeptical. “Woohoo” is Beyoncé add-on composition with Nicki Minaj doing the rap verse precisely like what ‘Lil Kim did eight years ago in “Can’t Hold Us Down”. It was magic but shortly lost its spark as the fading chant is absolutely damn too long. “Prima Donna” is neo “Fighter” pushing up with Usher’s “Yeah!” masculine muscle and typical gruff yell a la ‘Lil Jon’s – remarking Aguilera still has the ambition for ruling pop kingdom – after the prime Madonna of course. Linda Perry-balladry “Lift Me Up” is fail recurrence of “Hurt” or perhaps it was deliberately written to remind us to “Beautiful”. Nice try, Linda, but sorry, it’s a miss – in addition, it feels like Aguilera’s vocal needs some proper rest somehow. Immature, childish, and offensive “I Hate Boys” dismisses mood on the dancefloor, provokes jealousy to the golden-haired party-fetishes: Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, P!nk, and Mariah Carey – apart from bringing out classic pop-divas war to the only archenemy: Britney Spears – with this fake “Toxic” and remember Spears’ similar titled song “Boys” back in summer 2002? Suspicious. Did Aguilera do it consciously?

Notwithstanding Aguilera pushes aside her non-compromise powerhouse voice, the loveable highlight “Elastic Love” co-worked by M.I.A is the real strength of Björk-sonic nibble as she agrees to loosen the tight seatbelt. Unity of “Morning Desert”/“Sex for Breakfast” is seducing for staying in bed much longer and enjoying coitus before you go to work. Its theme and tone-formula resembles to of “Loves Embrace”/“Loving Me 4 Me” – offers nothing new but graceful vocal-decorated that sways you in the cradle. Don’t forget “My Girl” is a groundbreaking party and Aguilera brings her new lesbian sisters, radical feminine gangsta to the house: Peaches, JD Samsons and Johanna Fateman of Le Tigre. And Shakira is not alone, “Desnudate” is a triumph of Aguilera’s hereditary root for once again doing a Latin mix after “Infatuation”. It reflects sexiness, erotica, and bravery in stylish European-club pounding pulse, jazzy trumpet blow, and chic Spanish guitar display. In short, an A⁺ work. “My Heart” is maternal-sensitivity as Max has his voice recorded for the first-time on Aguilera’s song and “All I Need” is probably the most beautiful lullaby sung by a beautiful mommy. “I Am” is an accomplished indie pop of self-describing ode with soft strings arrangement composed by the extraordinary Australian songstress, Sia and her boy Sam Dixon. “You Lost Me” is fresh air to inhale with breathy vocal of Aguilera talking about love deceit – or probably she reveals her very personal sorrow of being betrayed as people slowly forget about her, “she has won, now it’s no fun... we had magic and this is tragic” : was it Lady Gaga? Or Beyoncé? Will this ballad consolidate her hegemony escorting her way to steal back the Grammy’s Best Female Pop Performance with Vocals from “Halo”?

However this album still spotlights Aguilera’s indelible taint so far: cliché. After a number of missing tunes, such as “Soar” in Stripped and tracks from Back to Basics like “On Our Way”, “F.U.S.S”, “Here To Stay”, and “Slow Down Baby”, she never learns. “Vanity” is embarassing narcissism of the headstrong lady Aguilera, extreme minus poin “Stronger Than Ever” for unnecessarily trying Kelly Clarkson’s hard-rock suit and ain’t no other morron rapid-speed jabber sillier than “Bobblehead” (two latter mentioned are the deluxe edition’s bonus tracks). Nevertheless, other bonus tracks like “Birds of Prey”, “Little Dreamer”, and “Monday Morning” exemplify simply good elaboration of synthetic sounds meet the nature-made vocal-cord.

Famously known for her ever-changing image and music-style, Aguilera said she was interested in the concept of making an album with sense of electronic and futuristic noise when one of her fans asked about her future music direction after doing classic brassy jazzy throwback on Back to Basics during the Asia-Pacific tour leg in Shanghai, June 2007. She did a try-out – auto-tune sound when releasing poor-selling greatest hits: Keeps Gettin’ Better (2008) with the same-titled single yet the signal of her descending era has shown – most people weren’t impressed with the song. Recklessly – whether it’s coincidence or allegedly there is attempt to bring on another diva-to-diva comparison – she is back with an inaugural rated ‘R’ full-length modern-ultrasonic album with tonic injections of genius electro-dance ingredients: British DJ Switch, Ladytron, Le Tigre, Santigold, M.I.A, Polow Da Don, Esther Dean, Claude Kelly, and beat-divas specialist Tricky Stewart. Despite of more than 14 million Facebookers claim themselves as the little monsters of today’s pop sensation, Lady Gagajandro, the naїve aging princess doesn’t care, overtly declaring: “the old me is gone I feel brand new but if you don’t like it, f**k you”. Well, so far Aguilera has proved her words. Sex-retort chanting come-ons, theatrical BDSM, dominatrix ring, a dance-troupe of stupid muscular men, hungry sex-kitten in latex, and shallow lesbianic scene. Is she now infected worse than Britney-Madonna’s “Me Against the Music” and their 2003s VMA threesome Kiss of Death?

Something to learn for making bloody stupid video like “Not Myself Tonight”: why’d mama-Aguilera immitate the mama-Madonna so obviously? It’d be better if she got rid off “Human Nature”/“Bad Romance” idea. More robotic theme with showing wires and cables in her body would be more acceptable than drawing tiresome inspirations from Madonna or Marilyn Monroe over and over again. Though tragic, Bionic is once again not an accident. Joanne Germanotta’s “Pokerface” is super-cool indeed but you can’t deny “Glam” is bold proof of the superiority of the fiercest vocal-belting diva on the planet. No matter what others say, it deserves praise and credit. There is love, revolution, strength, and achievement. Ain’t no Britney nor Beyoncé brave enough to do this chameleon outfit. On this entertainment rollercoaster, the wheel is spinning around and apparently not golden talent what people want right now but wonder of fame/sensation/plastic: Gaga.

Track-by-track  Rates

BIONIC – Deluxe Edition/iTunes
1. Bionic                                              + + + – –
2. Not Myself Tonight                          + + – – –
3. Woohoo (feat. Nicki Minaj)            + + – – –
4. Elastic Love                                    + + + + –
5. Desnudate                                       + + + + –
6. Love & Glamour (intro)                  + + + – –
7. Glam                                               + + + + +
8. Prima Donna                                   + + – – –
9. Morning Dessert (intro)                  + + + – –
10. Sex for Breakfast                          + + + – –
11. Lift Me Up                                    + + – – –
12. My Heart (intro)                            + + + + –
13. All I Need                                     + + + + +
14. I Am                                              + + + + +
15. You Lost Me                                 + + + + +
16. I Hate Boys                                   + + – – –
17. My Girls (feat. Peaches)               + + + + –
18. Vanity                                           + – – – –

Bonus tracks:
19. Monday Morning                          + + + + –

20. Bobblehead                                   + – – – –
21. Birds of Prey                                 + + + – –
22. Stronger than Ever                        + – – – –
23. I Am (Stripped)                            + + + + –

24. Little Dreamer                               + + + + –

Benchmark

Total average score :  76/24 = 3.17

                                                   Top of FAlbum Score : + + + – –